Crap changed your life....and mine

Crap is underrated. Cutiesoft will one day rise and take over the developed world to gain its deserved recognition and crap.

I look, at the loo, and I see, it needs cleaning..wah wahh wahh wah.(apologies to the Beatles/Loo/Clapton, though not necessarily in that order).

Let's fill it up with Cutiesoft from top to bottom, from side to side, from crap to crap. Its like putting water on fire right. Somehow it will all turn out a-ok in the end, or so said Confucius when the apple fell on his colleague's head.

Look, cmon, we all know Newton was groovy but yeah right, that story is all bull. He was just sitting under a tree employing Cutiesoft or something to that effect. Some passerby understandably got ticked off and threw his breakfast at old Newtie Cutie and bingo Newtie was out colder than a supermodel at a garage sale. Of course, that's hardly a story Newtie wants his girl to know. So it takes a few strangling twists and turns, inventing a whole new universal force in its wake. A mere technicality to change the focus of what actually happened. It's all too simple. If you replace all the letters of the word 'apple' with random other letters one at a time, you'll probably die of boredom. So you just choose one of the first words in a book like Newts did and voila, gravity was born, a total bastard as it were.

The birth of gravity ( aka 'do in loo what you would under tree')

Actors – Tree, Newtie, Cutiesoft , Passerby, , Half-eaten apple

Scene: Newtie under tree engaging with Cutiesoft

Passerby:
Hey, what are you doing under that tree?

Newtie:
Erm…sitting, partying…..my hero’s Buddha…there’s this new thing in town called Cutiesoft at discount r...

Passerby:
You can’t do that here. That’s disgusting. How could you even imagine doing something like that? Filthy.....Cutiesoft, you say?

Newtie:
Cutiesoft is my new idea to change the way people view the world or crap or neither. Really, I need to focus now.

Passerby:
(visibly bored and looking for things to hurl)
Take that, you,you...guy.
(Note - Passersby of our age owe their dull witted comebacks to these wild ancestors. Pedestrian is a loaded word, yes)

Half-eaten apple jumps reluctantly jumps from passerby to Newts to knock the latter out.

Newts wakes up 2 days later in a ditch to find that someone has been using his hat for collecting berries. In a rage, he invents a new force.

P.S. Half-eaten apple and Cutiesoft elope to create mutant children that are filthy but manage to keep the doctor away.

P.P.S. Really.